Unconditional Love: Shifting How We Respond To Tantrums

Giving our little ones the support, space and safety to feel.

Toddlers are amazing…but also exhausting. Emotions can run so high, and the simplest things can become such struggles (dinnertime anyone?). But today, I want to talk about unconditional love. I was venting recently about how our evening routine felt so chaotic and that many of our “positive parenting” techniques didn’t seem to help. But I was reminded of something so important, and overnight, I am already seeing the change.

When the kiddos are getting upset over the randomest of things, most of the time, they aren’t actually upset about us per se – they just need that space to release those big emotions! Think about what’s going on when we as adults lash out sometimes…it often isn’t related to the situation, yet it’s hard even for us to process through what’s going on underneath. How much harder is it for our little ones!

We all need that space to have that release. The safety to just be able to fall apart or to have that good cry. What our little ones need in that moment is to know they can safely do that. When I’m exhausted and in a bit of a mood, the last thing I want is my spouse to try to rationalize me out of it. I can only imagine how frustrating that would be for a toddler!

This morning, my littlest one woke up upset. But letting her know it was OK to feel her emotions, giving her the space to release it, and being there emotionally and physically with her as she went through it made the biggest difference. Within a few minutes, she was smiling and her sweet pleasant self again.

Just that little shift in my perspective made all the difference. It’s not personal, and I need to remember not to take it as such. And such a fresh reminder that unconditional love is just that – unconditional.

Migrated post from On Being Mommy.

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