Date Your Kids

With two (or more) kids, it can be hard sometimes to give each child the attention you’d like to give them. I find myself feeling this way all the time, thinking about how much our first had at each age and milestone. The mommy guilt is real.

In all seriousness, there’s no denying the fact that with more kids in the mix, the more your time just has to be divided. So one way we’ve found that’s been special and has worked for us is to have some dedicated time with each child. We feel it’s so important, even at this early age, for both of our children to feel uniquely seen and valued, and we’re doing our best to establish these routines into the rhythm of our family life.

So whether it’s dropping off one at a playdate with a cousin, or time with grandma, or even using the time when the other kid is in a class, we try to find ways to carve out some time that we can devote to each of our kiddos. It has even be as simple as when one child is napping and the other wakes up early! We use that special time to just lavish our love on the one that’s in front of us.

We are also trying to implement more regularly 1:1 dates for each of them with either mom or dad, so we all get that quality time in. In fact, this is something we are planning to be more and more intentional about as they grow.

So what could that look like? Here are some practicals:

• Have one parent take one child out, while the other watches the rest. Have a rotational schedule and switch off on different weekends. It’s special for each child to get both 1:1 time with mom and also 1:1 time with dad.
• Have a sitter or relative watch the other children while BOTH mom and dad take one child out together. We feel like it can be especially meaningful for a child to get that attention from both parents, particularly if they were not your first born and never had all that time alone in the early days.
• Plan a special outing, activity, or experience that you can enjoy with one child when the other child has a scheduled activity.
• Sign up for a class or experience that the parent accompanies the child to, like a parent-and-me class, sports class, art class, or something that encourages parental involvement, so that it forces you to have some scheduled bonding time in.

Migrated post from On Being Mommy.